Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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