You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
