Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
