Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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