I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
