Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
