when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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