You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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