I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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