He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
