He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
