come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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