what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
