so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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