It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
