That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
