i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
