apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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