$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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