i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
