He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
