Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
