Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
