Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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