Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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