thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
