that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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