I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
