I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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