just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name