I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
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If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.