she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pants are for mortals
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