When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
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Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
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Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.