I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.