I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
