I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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