what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
