That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
