there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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