i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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