we're blogging at a bar
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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