and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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