I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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