Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
