Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
