Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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