bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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