I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
