Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
