You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
