I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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