do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
