Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
