That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
