i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
