and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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