He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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