You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We don't watch enough power rangers
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.