I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."