I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia