Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
