He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
