the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
