No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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