Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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