Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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