Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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