the new term for farting is butt boxing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
